CARS AND FREEDOM

"Tell your dad to get you a car for your internship! You need and deserve the freedom that having your own vehicle affords you," a friend told me when I visited her after my exams. "Hmmmm.... Freedom! Now that sounds romantic," I said to myself and fantasized about driving through the streets of Coimbatore in my own vehicle. That felt like fun!

Before I could even ask him, my dad took the liberty of placing an order for a brand new Swift, just before I returned home after my final exams. All I had to do now was to accept it graciously and thank him for it. And I did exactly that.


Let it be known here that I am not the best of drivers. Unlike many of my friends I love the passenger seat better than the driver's. It gives you a lot of space for contemplation, space to really immerse your entire being into music while whirring past busy cities. But 'driving' to me is work. Moreover unlike many of you I'am not turned on by cars - for me it is just a mode of transport like any other vehicle. There is no denying the fact that they are status symbols but I don't care!

So this morning, right on time to be called a Graduation present, comes the news that my new car is ready for delivery. And guess how I felt? Trapped! There was no trace of the independence that I was supposed to be feeling. This had nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't parallel-park with confidence. Maybe it did, but I don't know. A car means responsiblity. Somehow I think if I took the car back to college my mind would be preoccupied the whole time with the well-being of the car. Remember how as a child we were reluctant to take the brand new Eraser, that our uncle from the United States gifted us, to school for the fear of others damaging it or worse losing it? That is exactly how I'am feeling. So I am mulling over whether I should indeed take it to college or leave it behind. Some serious guidance needed here!

I went back to college today to apply for Provisional Registration with the MCI so that we can be officially let loose on the patients of PSG Hospital. Can't deny that I felt proud! Very proud indeed!

END OF LIFE AS I KNEW IT

Dear Friends and Family,

Looking back at today I wonder. Is it just me or does everyone get to go through this rare moment in Life? I went to bed last night - a confused and confusing mixture of a child, an adolescent and an adult in the nascent stages of adulthood but I woke this morning as an Adult. It's strange how one piece of news can bring about such a big metamorphosis. This piece of transforming information was the news that I had passed my Final MBBS exam! So unlike most other human beings I can tell the exact time I became an adult - 21st March, 2013 at 6:20 AM !



Eyes weighed down by the thick mist of early morning drowsiness I picked up my mobile to see a number of missed calls and messages and the one message that caught my eye - "Results have come. You have passed!" And I didnt react. I was still caught in the throes of sleep that my mind just refused to get excited. I woke my mom and told her the news and guess what? She too didn't react. I trudged out of my bedroom in what I now recollect as a state of trance and verified that I had indeed passed. Next thing I knew I was by reflex typing out a message to my special someone to share the good news first!

Then I put up a status on Facebook proclaiming myself to be a Doctor and then spent the rest of the day completely flattered by the number of "like"s I was getting on my Wall Post! Still I was not excited or raring to jump off the roof; not even elated. In part this may have been due to the fact that unlike the previous years I was fairly confident of passing this time!

If at all I was feeling anything I was feeling all grown up! I wasn't feeling "Doctorish" as many would have assumed but I felt I had become an adult henceforth responsible for what I make of my Life!  For the first time I was able to look into my future without being gripped by fear. Somehow passing FINAL YEAR MBBS, one of the toughest examination on the planet, gives you that confidence. Like the safe zones in Reality Game Shows, you now feel that however badly you screw up in Life there is always this degree which will help you find the next meal - worst case scenario!

The only emotion that broke through to me was 'anticipation'. Anticipation to embark on the exciting journey as an intern at PSG Hospitals for a year. A year that I'd rather not speculate upon right away. Instead I want to let it unfold at its own pace. I wish to maintain a record, a digital record, of what I go through in this one very important year in my journey through Life and hence this blog came about. This is very much a personal account of Life that I write as much for myself as for any other person who maybe interested in reading it.

TO A WONDERFUL YEAR OF LEARNING, LIVING, GROWING...